


Man Proposes, Torture Flower Disposes

by tricatular



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Multi, Sex Pollen, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 20:14:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13131300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tricatular/pseuds/tricatular
Summary: "Oh, no," Michael said, looking at the giant purple-and-pink flowers looming above the neighborhood. "Those flowers weren't supposed to be used until five years into the torture."





	Man Proposes, Torture Flower Disposes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scintilla10](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scintilla10/gifts).



> This is set in a nebulous bit of early season 2.

"Oh, no," Michael said, looking at the giant purple-and-pink flowers looming above the neighborhood. "Those flowers weren't supposed to be used until five years into the torture."

"What are they?" Tahani said. To her, they just looked tacky. "Do they shoot knives?"

"Yeah, are they made of acid?" Eleanor said. She paused; Tahani could practically see her thinking of awful things. They'd only known each other for a little while, but Eleanor's 'thinking something awful' face was really very distinctive. "If I touch them, will I become allergic to booze?"

"No, but that's impressively creative," Michael said. "Listen, I'd love to hang around and explain things to you pair of pathetic humans, but I gotta go."

"Wait, where are you going?" Tahani felt suddenly much more alarmed. "I thought you'd planned for emotional torture!"

"Ha, ha," Michael said. "Later!" He ran off.

"Why didn't you try to chase him?" Tahani said.

"Why didn't _you_ try?" Eleanor countered.

"I'm dignified and not given to cardio. You're clearly neither of those things."

"Listen, tall, hot, and skanky, maybe if you -"

The flowers sneezed.

Tahani gasped. She couldn't help it; it was all so shocking. One moment Eleanor was lecturing her, and the next Tahani was inhaling gobs of pollen, coughing while Eleanor swore a blue streak next to her.

"What the fork," Eleanor said. "Ugh, disgusting. Chidi! Come here!"

At least Chidi also looked undignified when covered in yellow garbage, Tahani thought. He looked at them both unhappily, then said, "Vicki tried to get me to have sex with her car just now."

"Ew," Eleanor said. "Where would you even..."

"The tailpipe."

"Oh, dear," Tahani said.

"I know, wouldn't that cut your duck? Ugh, seriously, I can't say duck?"

"No," Tahani said. "It's just that I find that idea very, um. Hot?"

She did. It felt like her whole body was on fire. And Michael had said this was meant for torture a little further down the line. How would that work? She would be walking down the street with Eleanor -

Eleanor who wasn't her soulmate - and suddenly she'd feel an irresistible urge to -

"Oh, dear," she said, at the same time Chidi all but yelled, "I don't want to have an erection right now!"

-

"We should really debate this," Eleanor said a few minutes later, glassy-eyed. "Right, Chidi? There are ethics and consequences and stuff."

"You're just saying that because you're worried Tahani will turn you down. Don't worry, she won't. She might be the most affected of all of us."

"I don't give in to base animal impulses," Tahani sniffed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Eleanor poked her with one grubby finger. Tahani shuddered as her entire nervous system lit up, her mind and body both begging her to get on her knees and lick Eleanor until she screamed.

"Uh-huh," Eleanor said. "Is that a fancy way of saying you're a virgin?"

"Of course not!" Not quite, anyway.

"Eleanor," Chidi said quietly. "We have to deal with this somehow. I can feel myself getting less rational by the second."

Tahani could, too. In fact, the whole conversation suddenly seemed very silly, like discussing who was more talented, Beyoncé or Miley Cyrus. One answer was obvious, and the other would careen into your house in a vulgar outfit, screaming about construction equipment. 

Problem-solving had always been Tahani's forte. She leaned forward and kissed Eleanor, swallowing her gasp, and reaching out when Chidi tried to get away. When Eleanor began moaning into the kiss, she switched to Chidi, her death grip on his collar turning to nails scraping along his shoulder. "Fuck, this is really hot," Eleanor said, and sucked a hickey into Tahani's shoulders.

They were in the public square. There would be absolutely no coming back from this, and Tahani had to admit to herself that it would have been extraordinarily effective torture if she'd abandoned her soulmate to have sweaty, passionate sex on the lawn in front of everyone. But she didn't care about any of that right now, not with Chidi kissing her passionately while Eleanor said, "Chidi, tap once if you know what Eiffel towering is, twice if you're a virgin."

Chidi, Tahani noted with delight, only reached out to rub his thumb over Eleanor's lip, which shut her up and had the appealing effect of making Eleanor shake and moan.

Which gave Tahani a terrible, wonderful idea. She pulled away from Chidi, smiled down at him, and said, "Follow my lead, will you?"

"Uh, okay."

Tahani turned to Eleanor. "I have a cousin who wants to be a rapper. He's tacky and unbearable."

"Okay?"

"Eleanor, I'm telling you I know what Eiffel towering is." 

"Ohhhhhh."

"Come here." She crooked a finger.

It had always worked when she was alive, and apparently death hadn't changed that. Eleanor came over to her, following Tahani's lead when Tahani sat down, pulling Eleanor into her lap. "You're going to go down on Chidi," she whispered in Eleanor's ear, "And I'm going to make sure you get something out of it."

"Oh, shirt." Eleanor closed her eyes. Her color was high; Tahani could hear her heart pounding. It made the whole thing better, more alluring.

Tahani kissed her again, tugged her hair, played with her breasts. When she could feel Eleanor's wetness against her thigh, she said, "Go on, then."

Chidi had been watching while working hard to pretend he wasn't doing any such thing. Now, he swallowed and said, "I've never actually done this before, so, uh."

"Go easy on you?" Eleanor laughed. "Not a chance."

He was such a gentleman, though. He might be stripping bare naked in the middle of the town, but he folded his shirt before he let Eleanor within arms' reach of him. It filled Tahani with a rush of affection for both of them, which redoubled when Eleanor got Chidi's cock in her mouth and he actually yelled.

"Easy does it," Tahani said. "We're not anywhere close to finished." 

Eleanor certainly wasn't. She had her back to Chidi and was clearly quite occupied, but she managed to spread her legs and tilt her hips at Tahani, an impudent - and so, so hot - reminder of what Tahani had promised her.

Kissing her way down Eleanor's spine felt deliciously satisfying. She herself was desperate to be fucked, so wet and aching that she kept losing her train of thought, but it felt like nothing compared to what she encountered when she reached between Eleanor's legs. 

When she pressed three fingers inside, Eleanor moaned around Chidi's cock. When she curled them and got a thumb against Eleanor's clit, Eleanor bucked between them, knuckles white on the ground. When Chidi said, sweetly concerned, "Eleanor, are you okay?" she clenched around Tahani's fingers and pulled off for just long enough to say, "Fork me harder, right now."

Tahani looked at Chidi. He still had his glasses on, but they were smudged and askew; he looked as dazed as Tahani felt. Tahani bent down very deliberately, still watching Chidi, and kissed Eleanor's spine.

Chidi closed his eyes and just barely moved his hips.

"That's good," Tahani found herself saying. "She's enjoying that, Chidi, she really likes it. Watch." She fucked Eleanor hard, jolting her entire body, and Eleanor moaned in approval. Chidi reached down and touched Eleanor's hair, as incredulous as he was turned on, and Tahani stopped thinking and just -

Moved.

It seemed impossible that making Eleanor come could be such an important goal, but it inexplicably and undeniably was. Tahani pushed her harder and faster, snapped at Chidi to hold back until Eleanor had gotten off. Chidi did what he was told, too, and Eleanor arched her back and moaned and thrashed between them, so gorgeous and ill-behaved, and Tahani was desperate - she reached between her own legs and felt an orgasm spark, and then she slid into Eleanor further, pinching her clit almost cruelly, and Eleanor came with a shout against Chidi's thigh.

"Please, please," Chidi said. Eleanor laughed and got her hand round him; Tahani sat back and watched as Chidi came, messy and long and loud, gasping into the sky. He was so beautiful, _they_ were so beautiful, and Tahani felt a thrilling jolt when they both turned to look at her.

"Hands above your head, princess," Eleanor said. "It's your turn to get forked now."

Oh, my. Oh, _my_.

It was Chidi's hand then, cupped against her almost too gently, making her beg. Eleanor played with her tits and kissed her, sweetly dirty, before dropping a hand down to rub her clit. They both surrounded her, kissing her one after the other, moving with a sudden and baffling synchronicity. And she wanted it, so badly, her head spinning, her breathing coming in embarrassing pants. "Please," she found herself saying, "Harder, more, now. Now."

And okay: it was torture. The hows and the whys were obvious. But it was also the best orgasm she'd ever had, an expression of need and desperation so potent that she found herself shouting, clinging to Chidi and Eleanor as her body was wracked with shudders. 

"I'm going to kill Michael," she mumbled when she regained some semblance of her sanity. 

"Hard same," Eleanor said. "But maybe wait till the pollen wears off completely, or else you might wind up riding the big white bronco."

Tahani gagged.

She heard the footsteps too late to do anything but cover her eyes in humiliation. "Aw, man," Jason said from behind her. "I missed the orgy! This place sucks."

"Yes, dillweed, that's the point," Eleanor said. 

"Hey," Jason said with the tone of one discovering germ theory or inventing Confucianism, "I get it! This is the bad place!"

"We told you that already," Chidi said. "Like, five or six times."

"I gotta go," Jason said. "I just had a really good idea."

The three of them watched him run off in silence.

"Odds his good idea is actually good?" Eleanor said.

"Almost zero." Chidi shook his head, one hand still petting Tahani's hair.

They were so naked, and the grass was cold against Tahani's rear end. But - "Let's go back to my place and clean up, shall we? We should probably stick together until we're sure this stuff has worn off."

Chidi and Eleanor exchanged a glance that indicated they knew exactly what she was up to. But Eleanor said, "Sure thing, gorgeous," and offered her a hand to stand up.

Take that, Vicky, Tahani thought. Then she thought of Vicky taking other things, and then she became, once again, almost upsettingly wet.

"Let's hurry," she said. "It's happening again."

At least, she thought as they linked hands, the isolation would be entertaining.


End file.
